tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883677879946518552024-02-08T06:13:52.050-08:00Love to live,live to loveJust a collection of simple writings and thoughts from a simple man.Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.comBlogger402125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-36797649548539565472012-04-17T10:42:00.001-07:002012-04-17T10:42:39.033-07:00"Need a Lift"I drive my kids to school. One school is about 3 miles to the west. The other is ¼ of a mile to the East. Many mornings, my daughter is a little slower in getting ready. She’s already becoming quite the diva when it comes to getting ready. Combine that with her inherited disdain for the A.M., and it can take some time! So, I’ll drive my son to school first and then swing back by the house to get her. When we 1st started this routine, she thought it was so cool and funny to go stand at the end of our driveway when I drove back home. As soon as my car came into sight, she’d jump and wave and smile that polar cap melting smile of hers and start waving her thumb. I pulled up and said “need a lift”. She thought it was so funny for me to pick her up this way! She was so excited. We laughed all the way to her school that morning.<br />Today was no different. As I drove up, there she was at the end of the driveway, all toothless smiles and waves and hitching thumbs’. When I rolled the window down and asked if she “needed a lift”, she threw her little head back and cracked up. Then with full eagerness, she jumped in and kissed me. I can’t think of a better way to start the day!!<br />What struck me about all of this is the fervor and energy she still puts into this silly routine. She acts it out each day as if it’s the 1st time! She hasn’t lost any passion for it. It hasn’t become old hat. She doesn’t find it boring or the least bit goofy. There is no apathy. In her mind, she is a beautiful hitchhiker being picked up by her daddy! (I imagine though that I look a little more like a Prince and my yellow Aveo looks more like a horse drawn golden carriage ☺) She still loves it! And because of that, I do to! It is truly beautiful when you think about it.<br />Why don’t we act this same way in our relationship with our savior? Do you remember when it all began? DO you remember your salvation? Do you remember the feeling after being baptized? I do! I was SO excited! I was on fire. I smiled, sang, danced and was full of joy! There was nothing less than 100%.<br />So what happened? Why is it that now, often times we are dull, passionless, and generally apathetic when we approach the Lord? I have a theory. Want to hear it? Here it is: LIFE HAPPENED. Many things cause us to lose fervor: sickness, death, financial pressures, jobs, relationships etc. At times, it’s not easy to feel that excited any more.<br />But the truth is this:….we should still be as excited today as we were in the beginning! In all truth, maybe even more excited! NOTHING has changed! Jesus still died for our sins, He still loves us in spite of ourselves, and He still meets us every morning, right where we are with our thumbs up, waiting for Him…never failing to show up!<br />I think of the verse in Revelation 2:4 that says “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.” Jesus was reminding the church in Ephesus that they may still have the right motions but they’d lost the right emotions! He was calling them back to the days when their love for Jesus was an all-consuming passion!<br />May we all be reminded of the same thing today. May we all learn to fall in love with Jesus again!Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-35967597284543176692012-04-05T09:16:00.001-07:002012-04-05T09:18:33.789-07:00fun. FaithI just returned from leading a group to Mexico during spring break to build homes for the desperately needy. It was a great week. Part of the trip involved hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of driving. To fill that time, much music was played. We had a van full of folks with varying tastes in music (mine being supreme of course), so a virtual jukebox emanated from the van as we cruised through the CA highways. I’ve always had a much more lax policy on tunes than many youth pastors. I allow kids to pretty much listen to whatever music they are into. (There are obvious exceptions, as Slayer may not be youth group appropriate). I think it is easier to get a kid to be real and get to know them by making them relax in their own environments. So for the most part, we rock out, and besides how much Newsboys can one man handle? <br />Each year, a song rises up from the blend of notes and harmonies of our collective Ipods and becomes our unofficial “theme” of the week. We find ourselves playing and singing it over and over. Past winners of this prestigious title have been Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire”, Justin Bieber’s “Baby” and Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”. Obviously, it has to be a special little ditty. This year, as the trip began, we had several possibilities start to move to the head of the competition. A Skrillex and Gotye tune made a strong run, but ultimately fell shorter than Adam Levine’s new hairdo to “We Are Young” by the band fun. Before the week’s end we were screaming it at the top of our lungs every time we drove anywhere.<br />If you haven’t heard it, you need to spotify it right away. It has a grand, epic theatrical feel to it. The general “emotion” of it comes off as moving and inspirational. You’ll definitely not be able to get it out of your head.<br />The tune begins with a vague, fumbling apology in a bar. The singer is very lazily trying to atone for some past mistake he made against someone, but, when he can’t seem to find the best words, he breaks into a soaring chorus instead, basically urging them to forget the past and just live in the moment. Pianos and drums and bass roar as they boldly sing “Tonight, we are young , so let's set the world on fire' …. Trust me, it rocks <br />The more I listened to the song, the more fired up I felt. The chorus was all I could focus on. This idea that we are always as young as we want to be, we always have energy if we want it, we always can set this world on fire truly resonated with me.<br />What if we took on this sort of mindset in our faith? What if we truly believed that we could do whatever we set our minds to? How would our churches look and act differently? What if we adopted some sort of “We are Young” theology? Too many times I hear older Christians say things like “I’ve done that long enough, so it’s time to let someone else step in”. This drives me NUTS! From what I can see, nowhere does God tell us that our faith and actions are under a limited contract!<br />I urge us all to catch fire. Even when we are weary, remember the promises of God that we can soar on wings of eagles! Remember that we are empowered by a force greater than any! We are as young as we want to be. We can set this world on fire, and we can burn brighter…because we have the only true light. <br />So all who are weary in faith…I will carry you home tonight, but tomorrow is a new day. Joy comes in the morning and tomorrow….we will set the world on fire!Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-74184178489943535032012-02-29T10:19:00.001-08:002012-02-29T10:19:39.438-08:00Silent Art? Silent Spirituality?I love movies. I love all kinds. I can switch from Fight Club to UP and not miss a beat. I could watch Bridesmaids and then switch to Tree of Life and not lose anything. I like all sorts. So, I was fascinated this week when the awards were handed out at the Oscars. You may have noticed that the film called “The Artist” won most of the major awards. I am really dying to see it. I haven’t yet, so I cannot comment on it right now. On the surface, it you knew nothing of the movie, but just saw a trailer or sign, it makes perfect sense for the academy to choose this. It is French…instant artistic integrity! ☺ It looks artsy and elegant. In just about every way, it fits the expected pattern of award winners. They usually pick a certain type of movie and actually they get it right more times than not. (except of course of a few exceptions like Driving Miss Daisy over Born on the 4th of July, Chicago over The Pianist, Shakespeare in Love over ANYTHING…but especially Saving Private Ryan, or CRASH even being nominated…) But what you may NOT have known is this movie is a total silent film. There is NO dialogue. Yup…….NO ONE TALKS.<br />So, does the fact that this won surprise anyone else but me? That is mind-blowing to me in our modern culture! We live in an era where the prevailing thought is THE BIGGER THE BETTER. How else can you explain atrocious films like The Transformers being box office hits? We want explosions, stunts, robots, effects, and 3D! The last thing we want is silence. So to see a film of no noise and no special effects win such prestigious awards is amazing.<br />I believe what we are seeing is a whisper of God’s truth being understood, without many people realizing it. Our God loves silence. He is IN the whispers and gentle breezes! Jesus was a man of silent prayer and solitude. We are commanded to BE STILL. Perhaps my favorite verse on this topic is Psalms 62:1, where it says, "For God Alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.”<br />If Hollywood can get it…maybe we followers of Jesus can give it a shot too. Find a quiet place this week. Be still. Wait for God there and thank Him for your salvation. Stop adding to the noise todayBrian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-7265582202677891532012-02-22T13:24:00.001-08:002012-02-22T13:24:48.364-08:00When Faith and Logic CollideWhen Faith and Logic Collide<br />Sometimes it’s hard to understand just what I’m supposed to think<br />When the knowledge of your water is simply much too deep to drink<br />When I look at the world, and when I see its’ hurt and pain<br />There’s a battle that is raging between my heart and brain<br /><br />Did the earth ever really flood? Are dinosaurs real?<br />Should the dating of a rock really change the way I feel?<br />Is the Bible to be taken literal? Or is it all analogy?<br />Did the death of a Jewish teacher really change eternity?<br /><br />These are questions that I’ve heard. A few that I’ve considered<br />But through it all, your love abounds and my belief in you grows bigger<br /><br />Most kids of this world can’t even eat, and in America they all grow fat<br />I struggle to explain the justice in a God who works like that.<br />And when I listen to the cries, and the tears flood in like rain<br />Still a battle’s raging between my heart and my brain<br /><br />Was this all created in 7 actual days? And did a serpent really speak?<br />And what I am to learn from the washing of the feet?<br />Did a virgin give birth? Did her son really die?<br />And did he truly ascend right from that hill into that cloudy sky?<br /><br />These are questions that I’ve heard. A few that I’ve considered<br />But through it all, your love abounds and my belief in you grows bigger<br /><br />Try and try I may, but I’ll never understand<br />For my vision is so limited and I am just a man<br />As for me, I choose to serve you God<br />As for me I’ll choose to trust<br />And maybe one day it’ll all be clear when my body’s returned to dust<br /><br />For I could talk myself in circles, I could argue all day long<br />But still I can’t deny this feeling stirring like a song<br />That your justice WILL be served <br />That your grace WILL abound<br />And for all that makes no sense to me….. no answers may be found<br /><br />These are questions that I’ve heard. A few that I’ve considered<br />But through it all, your love abounds and my belief in you grows biggerBrian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-39232747308518192892012-02-21T13:51:00.001-08:002012-02-21T13:51:52.650-08:00GRACEGRACE<br /><br />Faith fantastic, forgiven child, Spinning spastic, screaming wild<br />Waves of sorrow, winds of pain, Washed away by grace’s rain<br /> Dance with me awhile, hold me closer to your heart<br /> Embrace me with your smile , let the healing find its start<br /> Kiss me deep into my soul, tell me you will never leave<br /> Fill up all the empty holes, Give me something to believe<br /><br />I wore my heart out on my sleeve. Learned to walk, forgot to breathe<br />This 3-ton monkey on my back, it fails to help pick up the slack<br />And on and on and on we go, just where we stop is when we’ll know<br />That all the pleasure of this earth, has nested here and given birth<br />To all that’s wrong, to all that’s bad. It took the joy and made it sad<br />And man in search of pure elation<br />Has muddled up perfect creation<br />It’s a long way up when you have to crawl<br />But it’s further down when you deny your fall.<br /><br /><br /><br />Please……open up my eyes<br />Shove truth into my face<br />Please……listen to my cries<br />Work me over with your grace<br /> <br /><br />I wore my heart out on my sleeve. Learned to walk, forgot to breathe<br />This 3-ton monkey on my back. It fails to help pick up the slack<br />And on and on and on we go, just where we stop is when we’ll know<br />That all the pleasure of this earth, has nested here and given birth<br />To all that’s wrong to all that’s bad. It took the joy and made it sad<br />And man in search of pure elation<br />Has muddled up perfect creation<br />It’s a long way up when you have to crawl<br />But it’s further down when you deny your fall.<br /><br /><br />Please……open up my eyes<br />Shove truth into my face<br />Please……listen to my cries<br />Work me over with your graceBrian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-23911878642036239432012-02-21T13:46:00.001-08:002012-02-21T13:46:34.894-08:00Cold in the ShadowsCOLD IN THE SHADOWS<br /><br />They say that a shadow is the absence of light.<br />They’re in corners in the day, then consume all the night<br />But I’m not so sure, that there’s nothing more<br />For the shadows in my heart have all been here before<br /><br />And its cold in the shadows<br />When I can’t make things right<br />Yeah, it’s cold in the shadows<br />I know it’s warm in the light<br />Well it seems like a mountain is stuck in the way, and I’ll never see another sunny day<br />Ohhh no…..yeah it’s cold in this shadow<br /><br />They say we form shadows because the light it can’t bend<br />It seems to me they come though when all that’s good will end<br />But I’m not convinced, that they ever go away<br />For this shadow in my heart, will live to see another day<br /><br />And its cold in the shadows<br />When I can’t make things right<br />Yeah, it’s cold in the shadows<br />I know it’s warm in the light<br />Well it seems like a mountain is stuck in the way, and I’ll never see another sunny day<br />Ohhh no…..yeah it’s cold in this shadow<br /><br />And I hear that a shadow can be used to tell time<br />But I lost track of the clock and all reason and rhyme<br />And I’m still not so sure, that there’s nothing more<br />For the shadow in my heart and soul has been there before<br /><br />And its cold in the shadows<br />When I can’t make things right<br />Yeah, it’s cold in the shadows<br />I know it’s warm in the light<br />Well it seems like a mountain is stuck in the way, and I’ll never see another sunny day<br />Ohhh no…..yeah it’s cold in this shadowBrian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-47589566233553431152012-02-06T13:42:00.000-08:002012-02-06T13:49:30.532-08:00McFaithWhy is it that we Americans love British things? We like to pride ourselves on our freedom, but then we fall back into loving all things British. Many of us are “Britophiles” and will consume anything from our funny talking brothers. I mean how else can you explain The Spice Girls, or Russell Brand EVER getting a movie contract? ☺ I am pretty confident that I'm not the only fan of all things that come from over the pond. I love Brit Pop…ALL of it. I love English Premier League soccer games. I love Guy Ricthie movies. And as much as I hate to admit it…yes I love Downton Abbey………(that felt good to get that off my chest)<br /><br />SO not too long ago, I was reading a British article, where Prince Charles hinted at his desire to get rid of fast food in the UK. He said “banning McDonald’s is THE key to a healthy lifestyle”. Good on ‘ya Prince! While I agree with the royalty of England and all the Morgan Spurlock’s of the world, and loathe the ridiculous “stuff” ol' Ronald tries to pass as food, I find this statement just a wee bit ridiculous. <br /><br />To me it, it is a lazy statement and is indicative of one of our culture's biggest problems today. We like passing the buck, and blaming others! That is how we operate. It is so much easier to always be the victim. Seldom will we own up to our own mistakes and problems. It is always someone else’s fault! Now of course, eliminating such foods from your diet will improve your health, but banning it is not the key! The key to YOUR health is not up to someone else to pass legislation, it is UP TO YOU to make the right choices!! The key is YOU making a choice, and then having the discipline to follow through. We cannot rely on others to make us better, if we aren’t willing to make the changes on our own! <br /><br />I think this same principle applies to our spiritual lives as well.<br /><br />How many times do we want other individuals to heal our souls for us? So often we whine about our churches, pastors, ministers and classes. “I’m just not getting fed at church lately” is a term we often hear and often say. Consider this: Maybe we should already be full before we ever step a foot into a sanctuary?!? I understand where this sentiment comes from, and at times there is SOME validity to this….but where does self-responsibility come into play? Aren’t we old enough now to also feed ourselves? How many of us, when complaining, spent ANY time that week studying God’s word for ourselves or praying to him?? We cannot rely on others to push us forward in faith. We need to be putting in the hours ourselves. God tells us there is a time to move away from the milk of babes and start eating meat of an adult. I think one huge way we can take that step is to stop expecting others to make us faithful Christians. <br /><br />I am not at all trying to negate the need for great preachers and teachers. I think they are vital parts of healthy spirituality. I cannot imagine living without them actually (and plus I really appreciate my job ☺) I just think that we can become TOO dependant on them to do all of our soul’s work for us. Just like the body, we too must exercise our faith! I wish I could get fit simply by watching the SuperBowl…but it simply does not work that way.<br /><br />Banning McDonalds is NOT going to save us, if we choose to eat garbage at home. And listening to a great sermon is not going to save us if we choose to continue to “eat garbage” at home. Take some time to get to know God YOURSELF……it is vital to your health!<br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=nwaz_01_img0075.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/nwaz_01_img0075.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-30982935240376016012012-01-25T10:46:00.000-08:002012-01-25T10:53:28.909-08:00Wilco, Religion and the Human ExperienceWhen I was going through my “Doors Period” like every red-blooded American teen who’s a fan of music is expected to go through, I did much more than just listen to the tunes of Jim and the boys. I read his poetry, watched old footage, and read every book about them I could find. I remember hearing constantly people describing a Doors concert experience as a “religious experience”. Their guitarist even described it this way saying, “It was a religious experience between us and the audience. We were all together. This sounds ridiculous, but we were all together, the audience and us. They just went crazy. Everybody was together – that was it. It was an incredible feeling of community.”<br /><br />At the time this intrigued me, but I sure didn’t understand it. In my mind I pictured a bunch of stinky hippies passing a joint, along with a communion plate, singing “How Great Thou Art” after “Light My Fire”. That was as far as I could grasp this idea of “religious experience” at a rock and roll show. I loved the way it sounded, but just wasn’t sure what it meant. Fast forward 20 or so years. I think I can get it now. At least, I can a little. I’ve had a few of those experiences where I was at a show, and the crowd was singing in one voice, the band was passionately pouring out their emotions and it felt like we were all melding into one. It felt like something big was happening. It was as if I’d lost my personal identity and instead had morphed into some bigger existence…one of collective mind, heart, soul and love. Does that make ANY sense? If so, I think THIS was what was meant by the concert as a “religious experience”. I’ve experienced it a few times. Pearl Jam took me there 1st. U2 grooved me through it. Mumford & Sons drove it home. This past week, Wilco lit the fires again!<br /><br />It was my first chance to see Wilco live. I’ve been a fan since I heard first “Box Full of Letters” in college many years ago. I’ve followed them from varying distances throughout the years. I’ve listened as they’ve grown, expanded and explored. I’ve been fascinated with their lyrics and the relationship they have with the music industry as a whole and with their fans. But, I’d never gotten to see them live. <br /><br />So last week, at the Fillmore Auditorium in Denver, I finally got that chance. It did NOT disappoint. Mr. Tweedy and the boys came out and immediately went to work. There was so much to take in. The light show and simple yet lovely stage set was wonderful. The sound was mixed so clean. Jeff was singing with incredible clarity. Guitarist Nels Cline is a freak of nature the way he plays. His passion is so intense that you almost feel you’re viewing an intimate moment between a man and his lover that was not meant for your eyes. The glue of the band in my opinion, bassist John Stirratt was laying down incredibly heavy grooves and harmonic vocals. Everyone else was playing with fervor and passion. It was something special. <br /><br />So why could I say that it almost felt “religious”? There are many factors involved. The show itself had a ceremonial feeling. The crowd is there and reacting in a reverent, and almost subjective manner. All of the fans in attendance acted like a “good congregation” and respected tradition as well as new material. We responded appropriately when we needed. We laughed at his “is pot legal in CO because it sure smells legal” joke (and boy did it smell VERY legal). We clapped when we were supposed to and whistled when it was our turn. We sang loudly when called upon. It felt like another place I go on Sundays ☺. Everyone was singing together, moving together. It was TOGETHER. <br /><br />Jeff Tweedy himself has even felt this, once saying “I just find the communal experience of a rock concert, or any type of music performance, achieves a kind of transcendence that I associate with spirituality. It’s the closest thing to what I think people expect church to be like. Or maybe just what I’ve always thought church should be. It’s as close to it as I feel like I’ve gotten. You lose yourself, and at the same time come to the realization or understanding that you’re part of something bigger than yourself. That’s the main function of religion, in my mind.”<br /><br />Towards the end of the night they played one of my favorites “A Shot in the Arm”. As the crowd and band found themselves screaming together “that maybe all we needed was a shot in the arm”, I got goose bumps. I’m not sure what this song is truly about. You could make an argument for heroin addiction. You could say it’s about an addictive, destructive love. Regardless, NO ONE could say it is not passionate. It was powerful! Something special was happening.<br /><br />At that moment I felt like I was part of something bigger. God has created every one of us in his image. And we can live together, love together, create together and make beauty. God is in the whispers of all beauty. I truly believe this. And I think he can even be found in a beer soaked and smoke filled ballroom in Denver Colorado. I look forward to church this week……..Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-58177758396781023582011-12-30T12:31:00.000-08:002011-12-30T12:32:21.112-08:002011 MusicI lost my way when it came to writing this year....my resolution is to begin blogging again this year! But until then...here is a simple entry:<br /><br />My 10 favorite albums of 2011….<br />10- (Tie) Fleet Foxes- Helplessness Blues <br /> Explosions in the Sky- take Care, take care, take care<br />9- Beastie Boys- Hot Sauce Committee II<br />8-KanyewWest & Jay-Z- Watch the Throne<br />7- Foster the People- Torches<br />6- Foo Fighters- Wasting Light<br />5-Dawes- Nothing is Wrong<br />4- The Black Keys- El Camino<br />3-Radiohead- King of Limbs<br />2-Adele-21<br />1-Eddie Vedder- Ukelele SongsBrian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-58425346501045086582011-09-30T13:45:00.001-07:002011-09-30T13:45:02.613-07:00JUST TRY IT<span xmlns=''><p><span style='font-family:Cambria'>I once read in the news that a Bollywood filmmaker has issued a wild challenge to horror movie fans: a $10,000 reward for anyone who can watch his latest supernatural thriller, alone, in a cinema until the closing credits. The director said the film fan who stepped up to the challenge will be wired up to a heart monitoring machine as well as a camera that ensures they keep their eyes open during the whole movie. Readings from the machines will be shown live on a screen outside the cinema, he said, and if the contestant succeeds, staying under a certain heart rate, they will win 500,000 rupees (approximately $10,850)! His claim…. "there is no way one can experience this, and NOT be affected".<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Cambria'>I want to see that movie! Have you ever experienced something like a movie or concert and thought "anyone that saw that HAS to be changed. The 1<sup>st</sup> time I saw Pearl jam I felt that way! I often approach a big show with this expectation.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Cambria'>But strangely enough, rarely do I approach the inspired word of god like this. Far too often we are scared to share the good news with the world around us. We have come up with a stable of possible excuses to use. We are afraid of being rejected. But the truth of the matter is this: the world WANTS the truth! As I grow older, and more comfortable with sharing my faith and sharing God's word with folks, I am learning how wrong my youthful excuses were. I can say this assuredly; very VERY rarely does anyone reject you when you give them God's word. They want life and they want hope. Believe me, I have found this to be so true!<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Cambria'>Stronger than any slasher flick or rockin' gig, God's word changes people. It is so powerful, because the letters you read are more than words! They are alive, and full of power! We are told in Hebrews 4:12 <span style='color:#001320'>that "the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." When you truly experience this power, we have no choice but to react! </span><span style='color:black'>The Word of God is powerful to resist temptation, to forgive, to lead, to comfort, to confront, to exhort, and to fill your life with every blessing. The Word answers life's important problems. The Word is alive!</span><br /> </span></p><p><span style='font-family:Cambria'>Never fall into the trap that God's word cannot change things. Never be confused that is a a nice book of fairy tales. God's word moves this world! It shakes mountains! And I dare you to truly experience it and not react. Just like the movie director above, I challenge you to sit with it and NOT react. But this reward works differently. Your prize comes not for sitting still. Your prize comes WHEN you react. Your blessings come after you cannot sit still anymore! So get into God's word! Let it change you….and see who the winner is……….<br /></span></p></span>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-55082330691904200732011-09-23T15:17:00.000-07:002011-09-23T15:31:59.692-07:00Man...they are sure cute!!!So, I am trying to get back in the regular habit of blogging...which also includes pictures of my lovely 3 kiddos. Check these out. <br /><br /><strong>FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL</strong><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept044.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept044.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept040.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept040.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept034.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept034.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept032.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept032.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept029.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept029.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept028.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept028.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept027.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept027.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept025.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept025.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept022.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept022.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept021.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept021.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br /><strong>FUN AROUND THE HOUSE</strong><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept046.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept046.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept038.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept038.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept018.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept018.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept001.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept001.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=Sept048.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/Sept048.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />Yeah...I love 'em!Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-71913304024619586992011-09-12T09:24:00.000-07:002011-09-12T09:26:36.417-07:00Soul Worms<strong>SIN WORMS</strong><br />I ‘m always learning. God is constantly teaching me. Many times, it’s from the mouth of my children. More often than not, it comes from my 6 yr old daughter Merrick. Have you noticed the web worm epidemic in the Valley? They are everywhere. These caterpillars nest in trees and then spin fine webs that take over a branch, and if left unattended, an entire tree. If left alone, they will eventually kill a tree! You can drive anywhere in the valley currently and you’ll see them everywhere! Yesterday in the car Merrick said these words: “Those webs are kinda’ tricky Daddy. Because when you look at them, they are actually quite beautiful, but REALLY, they are slowly killing everything”. I smiled, acknowledged her, and then bowed my head in the spiritual truth spoken from her tiny lips.<br />Isn’t that how the lies of sin work? Think about it. Sin, at it’s simplest form looks SO beautiful to us. If it didn’t, we would never struggle with it! On the surface, it looks SO lovely. It is shiny, and glamourous, and we can easily be fooled into thinking it is in fact “BEAUTIFUL”. But, if left unattended, it quickly takes over our entire lives, and before we even realize it, that which was once so beautiful has now killed us! <br />Satan is the father of lies. He is dying to deceive each and every one of us. But I have good news. God is TRUTH. And He wants to redeem us. The enemy came to kill, steal and destroy, but our God came to give us life abundant!!! <br />As I’ve researched how to deal with my worm problem, I’ve discovered that most of the time, if a tree is taken care of and ridded of these pests, it will recover. You and I are no different. We can recover too. We can turn around. We can get rid of our “infestations”, and God assures us that we can recover. But, we have to spot the problem first, and we have to get rid of it. <br />That is our prayer. May we all see the truth behind the lies like my daughter. May we all have the courage to get rid of it, and find the only true beauty in this world, which never deceives…the salvation of Jesus Christ.<br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=web20worms.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/web20worms.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-48116199617683822712011-05-18T14:05:00.000-07:002011-05-18T14:06:13.745-07:00Life and PromsLast week I was asked to DJ a wedding. Having all kinds of music on my laptop, and friends with some good sound equipment I could borrow, it seemed like a simple request. All I had to do was suffer through a few hours of truly atrocious modern tunes by Katy Perry, Usher and the likes, and I could earn a little cash. Sounds pretty simple huh?<br />It was pretty simple for the most part. The catch was that it was for a small charter school organization of home schooled kids. It was run by a conservative group of individuals. The administrator and teachers had decided these kids deserved a prom…you know it being an American right of passage and all ☺. So……….it was a little trickier than expected. I had visions of Footloose…….visions where I’d be pumping the jams, then mid Flo Rida, in would burst John Lithgow in a sweaty fervor condemning me to hell…………..<br />But. I pressed on, determined to give these kids the night of their life. Yet, I was also a little intimidated by the unfair stereotypical picture of the event I had painted in my head. Pressing on, I drove to the town, found the little community center and entered into the great abyss (wishing that Kevin Bacon could have been with me) not knowing what would come next. It looked very nice inside. There was a lovely wood dance floor, several candlelit tables, a gorgeous old chandelier and white Christmas lights strewn about…it looked like a nice little prom! I met the lady in charge, and began setting up.<br />The night started slowly. As we waited for the kids to flow in, I played a setlist that I had put together with the clever title: “pre-prom and dinner”. It consisted of classics by Tony Bennett, Frankie Blue Eyes, Swell Season, etc…..mellow and nice. The adults CLEARLY liked this! A few kids came in….some as couples and one or two as singles (turns out, most of them were waiting on dates…a little different than most proms). And we waited, and waited……..the tunes still played “Moon River”, “Such Great Heights”, “Love Me Tender”……….and still we waited. Soon it became painfully clear that this was ALL that was coming. So the small (I mean SMALL) crowd convened for dinner (they did give me a really nice prime rib dinner). The mellow tunes continued and all were happy.<br />Finally as I sensed they were done with dinner and ready for something else, but not quite sure how to “get the party started” I made my way to the DJ Table and set it off! I wish I could describe the adults faces as the tunes subtly changed from Michael Buble to “Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur……” ☺<br />But, the kids got out there on the floor! The tiny group gathered and tried as best as they could to get their young rhythmically challenged ,caucasian bodies to move with the computerized, autotuned dribble that they requested. It was very sweet, and a little sad. But man..they went for it! I was impressed. They were determined to make the most of this! Even if their intellect and arms couldn’t sync quite perfectly to spell YMCA with their appendages, they were surely trying………….and they were smiling the whole time. <br />The adults sat nearby watching, clearly confused as to how “the DJ had them fallin’ in love again” and just exactly what a “G6” is. At one point the head administrator came over to make small talk…….but it was clear he was checking out the playlist (which his own teacher had sent me as given to her by a student) for questionable content. But the party kept going for the kids who clearly understood the deep mysteries of Ke$ha and Gaga. After five or so truly life changing jams, it was time for the inevitable slow dance. The first offering of the night brought to light a problem: there was one lonely girl without a date. She was just so cute. As the couples awkwardly scooted around (and actually a few waltzed quite nicely thanks to the songs ¾ timing) the floor, I was captivated with this young lady. In all truth it broke my heart. She swayed uncomfortably, with a forced smile on the sidelines. It was clear that she so badly wanted to be swept off her feet. I thought hard about asking her to dance myself…but decided against it (for fear of a possible mace attack accompanied by screams of “stranger danger”). Yet I watched her and could almost hear the struggle inside of her. It was gut wrenching and I was faced with a tough decision. Should I keep the next song lined up, which was also a slow dance, or should I show mercy to this beautiful loner? I wrestled with this and like the dad in the old tale of the train conductor with a son stuck on the tracks, I chose in favor of the masses..despite every urge to do otherwise. <br />So as the Paramore ditty started I saw something incredible happen. A young man (who was clearly the cool alpha male of the party) noticed the young lady. He proceeded to whisper something in his girls ear, who then stood back, smiled and kissed his cheek, and walked off. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I had the best seat in the house and was seeing this through! What he did next gave me chills. He walked over to the girl by herself and held out his hand. She looked, and then hesitated. He smiled and said "let’s dance”. A smile the size of the Rogue River spread from check to cheek and she giddily grabbed his hand. The young man’s girlfriend took a seat as her man danced around the floor with this girl. <br />WOW! Who says chivalry is dead!?!?!? In all truth, my eyes welled with tears. I was sure this would not take place at any “normal” prom. It was such a visible display of kindess and grace. I just wanted to hug that fella’. The rest of the night, she was included in most every song. She still stayed awkwardly in the margins at times, but she no longer looked so alone. It was amazing.<br />As the night wore on I was able to see and learn a lot. I was reminded of how hard it was to be that age. You could tell they wanted to act mature, yet at the same time wanted to jump around and be silly like kids. There was clear confusion as to what was their exact role, and you could almost smell the fear of the uncertain future. There were very awkward caresses and even tiny kisses. The horrible and awkward sexual tension that is so present at this age choked the air. I remembered how hard that was. I recalled how scary that was. I watched as they literally teetered on the cliff between youth and adulthood. And as two teens gazed into each others eyes and swore life long devotion as they sang the words of Bruno Mars to one another………I felt for them. I wanted to tell each one that they were going to be okay. That yes…life is hard and right now is confusing…but they were going to be ok!<br />I think many times we belittle teens, not even meaning to. We treat them with attitudes that imply “stop whining. You have it MADE right now. You have NO CLUE what real stress is like. Wait until you have diapers to change and mortgages to balance with buying new soccer cleats and THEN talk to me about difficult life decisions…”. We act as if they have it SO EASY. I was reminded that these kids have anything BUT the simple life. They have issues MUCH bigger than we credit them with. Cures for “bacne” and the newest Call of Duty games are not their only concerns. These young people face real issues and really tough decisions. I hope that we honor them, validate that and support them as they grow into the adults God created them to be.<br />It was a fun night. It really touched me. I pray that each of these kids has a blessed life. May they never lose the spirit to try and dance even when you cant! May they always continue to try and include those who have no one, and may they always continue to smile. I pray that heir lives are…in the immortal words of the great poet of their generation, Taio Cruz……….dynamite!!!!!!!<br /><br />Rock on young people………….the world is your oyster.Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-86359714322737218902011-05-02T09:17:00.000-07:002011-05-02T13:58:32.624-07:00Daddy Daughter DanceSaturday night was a special one in our family. Our church was hosting its' first "Daddy/Daughter Dance". My 5 yr old daughter Merrick could not have been more excited! She had her dressed picked out in advance and was giddy with excitement. I couldn't help but feel this excitement as well. I wanted the evening to be ALL about her. I even ordered her a wrist corsage.<br />So she got dolled up and even got to wear lipstick (which was a BIG deal) and we took off. I cannot explain the joy I felt watching her. She was floating on air. She was beaming from ear to ear. She couldn't have been more excited. As we got into the car I asked her "Will you join me for a night of dining and dancing?" She smiled huge and then added, in a funny accented voice..... "And hopefully a little bit of drinkin'....." I laughed out loud, a little confused. She then followed with "yeah.....I am REALLY hoping that they have punch!" Can you GET any cuter than that?<br />As we entered our simple church's fellowship hall I was blown away at how it looked. It was covered with pink lace and ribbon and Christmas lights. Tables for 4 were scattered about elegantly covered with candles and flowers. The floor (and the girls liked this best) was blanketed in pink and purple balloons. We were ushered to the photo area for our photgraph. (we even got that in a keepsake frame at the end of it all)<br />The night was perfect. We shared a nice meal, listened to a brief presentation on the blessing of a Father/Daughter relationship, and then the dancing began. Man it was FUN! Merrick is the energizer bunny! We danced and laughed and danced and laughed. We scooted around to oldies, Cyndi Lauper and other crowd faves. We threw in some Hokey-Pokey and Chicken Dance action for fun! In between the dances were prize give-aways and silly games that the girls loved.<br />The night ended with a slow dance. Of course they went straight for the jugular with the song of choice being Steven Curtis' Chapman's "Cinderella". If you have never heard it and have a daughter...be warned!!!! :) It was so special. I picked up my angel and held her as tight as I could. Tears were streaming down almost every face in the place...in fact they are streaming down mine again just thinking about it. I hugged my baby and kissed her and promised her that I would always love her. It was a beautiful moment.<br />I am so thankful to Marcie Dixon for putting this together. It was done wonderfully. I will never forget it and look forward to next year already. <br />I am so thankful for my Merr Bear. She is a special soul who I love with all my heart.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8903.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8903.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8900.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8900.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8899.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8899.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8897.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8897.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8894.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8894.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-65382612625523159922011-04-29T10:28:00.001-07:002011-04-29T10:32:13.830-07:00Friday MixI put the ol' Ipod on "shuffle" today and got quite a mix......here is today's offering:<br /><br />American X- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club<br />In Your Hands- bebo Norman<br />Don't Tread on me- Metallica<br />Strange Times- The Black keys<br />Bold As Love- John Mayer<br />How Much for Your Wings?- the Black Crowes<br />Tommorow- James<br />I Want to Know You- Dinosaur Jr.<br />Fever- Neko Case<br />Say Goodbye- Dave Matthews band<br />Candy- Magic Kids<br />Baby Boomer- Monsters of Folk<br />Deuce- Kiss<br />What Difference Does it Make?- The Smiths<br />Two Hearts- Ryan Adams<br />Now That We Found Love- Heavy D and the Boys<br />It Goes on & on- The Avett Brothers<br />Silent Lucidity- Queensryche<br />Royal Oil- The Mighty Mighty Bosstones<br />Fingers of Love- Crowded House<br /><br />Now that is a varied blend :)Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-78713560536896931542011-04-26T11:12:00.000-07:002011-04-26T11:13:02.407-07:00Intergenerational InfluenceI was saddened recently to hear about the plight of a young man we met several years ago at an Urban Ministry we are active in called PUMP. He was a little kid in the program we work with. His behavior was bad news from day one, but he was beautiful. He had a foul mouth, total disdain for authority and a bleak outlook on life. His parents were in and out of prison and drug addicts. He was in the foster system most of his life. It was a sad story. This month he was arrested in for the murder of his 14 yr old girlfriend. How tragic! I have had a hard time wrapping my head around this. How does a kid go so wrong in such a short time? How does a child…born into innocence become SO corrupted? It breaks my heart to the core.<br />The answer is clear. INFLUENCE. Influence is everything. Positive influences can lead you one way, and negative the other. Sure there is free will involved, but influences are much stronger than we often give them credit for. The older we get the clearer this becomes. And once we have children, we start to understand. Suddenly I understand why my mom cared so much about the kids I hung around ☺! Those hoodlums really could affect my life choices ☺<br />Most kids in my world are blessed to have so much positive influence on their lives, from their youth group, to their families. They are surrounded by a group that loves them. But there could never be too much! I hope we all recognize this. At my church we do, and we are slowly moving to a more INTERGENERATIONAL MINISTRY approach. This method asks families and adults to walk right next to our teens. We want to be together and not segregated. We want the generations to know one another despite the massive gap that culture tells us is there. <br />I am convinced that relationship with adults who have truly been changed by Jesus are the key to showing young people what the Christian life is all about! We can have the biggest and fanciest programs in the world, but they will not matter without these relationships! I am asking all of you to join our youth ministry. Come to class with us. Sit with some teens in worship. Let's get to know each other and let’s show this world what power positive relationships really have. Together we can do anything!Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-69295577585930307932011-04-13T10:30:00.000-07:002011-04-14T19:06:30.802-07:00The Next Jon Foreman?My son Jude is 8. Three of his passions are: soccer, football, and music. He loves to sing while he bashes away sporadically at his drum kit. Now he has decided to venture into the world of lyrics. He decided it was more fun to rock out to his own songs rather than only cover others. He also decided his band would be loud, fast and Christian. I found some of his lyric sheets. Here is an excerpt of what he had written:<br /><br />“OH DADDY”<br />The Lord is the reason we are living<br />Oh Daddy<br />The cross is the most painful memory<br />Oh Daddy<br /><br />“RISE”<br />RISE…whoa whoa……..<br />Let’s get it going, the stars all RISE<br />The dead from the grave all RISE<br />We all RISE …to worship Him<br />Our savior, our rock, our protector<br />So let’s RISE……<br />He is our life. He is our blood and refuge. EVERYONE EVERYONE EVERYONE<br />RISE!!!! (X3)<br /><br />So……I am going to jump on board here and say this is AWESOME ☺Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-27302054430137431382011-04-05T09:41:00.000-07:002011-04-05T09:42:28.150-07:00Living a LegacyThe air at West main has been thick since the turn of the year. 2011 has been rough. It all began in December of 2010 when one of our elders, Mel Hamilton, was injured in a bad fall from a ladder. It’s been 4 months and he’s in a wheelchair, STILL fighting serious infection. Several elderly members of the family have passed away since January. In January one of our dearest friends was severely injured in a snowboarding accident, and tragically passed away after fighting massive brain injuries. Then my family got REALLY sick. And then last week, another elder, and dear mentor of mine, Truman Scott suffered a massive stroke.<br />It seems that one dark cloud after another keeps coming our way. It’s been rough, but we have pressed on and we know that there is a light at the end of this all. Still…it has been trying, to say the least. In each situation, the tragedies seem almost specifically targeted. It is really quite eerie. Let me explain.<br />Mel is in his sixties. He is in great shape. He is active and regularly exercises. He is a prolific walker, usually at the mall. He is not a prideful man at all, but if he was, he’d be proud of this, I think. He is known for walking the church building, watching over the flock and hugging and greeting all who “get in his way”. So this is what was attacked. He cannot walk. It HAS to be killing him. It means something to him. It defines him in the eyes of many folks at the church. It has felt empty without him “walking his perimeter”. His absence has been felt. It has affected morale at church, without a doubt. There is a hole.<br />Branson’s accident hit the hardest. To have someone SO YOUNG and SO FULL OF LIFE pass away really took the breath out of everyone. It hit the body here like a freight train, and took a little pep out of some usual VERY peppy steps!<br />Then the most recent event was Truman and his stroke. The stroke seems to have only attacked his speech and cognition center of the brain. He has NO paralysis, and looks great. To many this could be a pretty good diagnosis and prognosis. But to Truman it could be the worst news possible. This is a man who has built his entire life on WORDS. He is a preacher, teacher and writer. For these to be taken away are a CRUEL possibility. And we are already feeling the loss at church. He is the communicator for our shepherds. He is a calming and rational presence. And he is ALWAYS in the lobby, greeting everyone with a warm handshake and a hello. It is already missed, and we pray it could return.<br />It would be easy for us to look at all of this and throw our hands up in exasperation. It would be easy to want to cry out and give up. It is a harsh reminder of what can so quickly and easily be taken away from us. But in each of these cases there is something bigger going on. Mel is known for his tender heart and his YEARS of service to God’s kingdom. From his work overseas, to the classrooms, to years of teaching and evangelizing. This is WHO HE IS. You could take away his ability to walk, or anything else, but you could NEVER take away his legacy. That will live on forever. Same with Branson. His free living spirit, his daring attitude to take life had on….Nothing will destroy that legacy. And Truman’s body of work will be around long after any of us are! His many books, lessons, sermons and countless lives he has touched compile a legacy that can NEVER be damaged. <br />The reality is this: Our LEGACY is on thing that can never be taken from us. What we do today will STILL matter tomorrow. The lives you touch, and the love you leave behind will live on a long time after we pass away. This is a very SOBERING yet HOPEFUL thought to me. And I hope it causes us all to stop and pause and ask some questions. What kind of legacy am I leaving? For what will I be remembered? What will be said f me long after I am gone?<br />I urge all of us to live a life that we can be proud of. Lead lives that even if tragedy takes everything from us, our legacies will continue to work for the kingdom long after we do. Live a life worthy of the calling…..Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-77931831835433699972011-04-04T08:23:00.000-07:002011-04-04T08:59:57.284-07:00Mexico SuccessI’m a little late with my offering on the Mexico Mission trip. It was a fantastic year. Once again, it seemed like the best effort ever. We were able to build 2 beautiful homes. In fact, it is unanimously agreed, that they were most likely our finest two ever. They can complete with mosaic doorsteps and flower beds! Over the course of 20+ years, we have gotten pretty dang good at building these houses. It is a joy to watch the process. Our kids could really almost do it by themselves. It is a proud moment watching as they pour themselves into the work with nothing but love in their hearts.<br />This year was colder than normal. It got downright chilly in the evenings. The bonfire was especially popular. Our teens were so cool this year, and as usual took my kids in and made them feel uber special. Jude even pulled off a few upsets in the massive games of Knockout on the rusty ol’ hoop. That was pretty cool!<br />It was a great week. I really enjoyed watching Merrick experience it for the first time. She did great; Jude really took to the little 3 yr old boy “Charlie we were building for. They loved each other and that was fun to watch too.<br />The trip home had the annual trek to Magic Mountain theme park near LA. It was awesome. It was Merrick’s first trip and she quickly earned rock star status. She was FEARLESS. NOTHING scared her and she rode everything she was tall enough to get on. I took her on drops, loops, corkscrews and twirls, and she laughed them all off….it was awesome.<br />Yet, as good as the week was, there is no place like home. IO was thrilled to return to my lovely wife and youngest daughter I am still trying to catch up on rest. I already eagerly anticipate next year.<br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=196418_137971156273324_119441511459622_211580_6910503_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/196418_137971156273324_119441511459622_211580_6910503_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=190293_138119852925121_119441511459622_212423_1224667_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/190293_138119852925121_119441511459622_212423_1224667_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=200816_138119919591781_119441511459622_212428_772136_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/200816_138119919591781_119441511459622_212428_772136_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=196589_137979659605807_119441511459622_211721_2385386_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/196589_137979659605807_119441511459622_211721_2385386_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=196589_137979659605807_119441511459622_211721_2385386_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/196589_137979659605807_119441511459622_211721_2385386_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=196699_138122796258160_119441511459622_212575_7492613_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/196699_138122796258160_119441511459622_212575_7492613_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=198053_10150223683290550_707755549_9093541_3252876_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/198053_10150223683290550_707755549_9093541_3252876_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=198105_137977106272729_119441511459622_211668_7358645_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/198105_137977106272729_119441511459622_211668_7358645_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=198163_10150223686700550_707755549_9093641_8129965_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/198163_10150223686700550_707755549_9093641_8129965_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=198175_137972619606511_119441511459622_211593_7057151_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/198175_137972619606511_119441511459622_211593_7057151_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=199013_137978172939289_119441511459622_211693_4527596_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/199013_137978172939289_119441511459622_211693_4527596_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=198196_10150223686740550_707755549_9093642_4766410_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/198196_10150223686740550_707755549_9093642_4766410_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=199502_138122156258224_119441511459622_212551_6213333_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/199502_138122156258224_119441511459622_212551_6213333_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=199733_10150223683355550_707755549_9093542_5059761_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/199733_10150223683355550_707755549_9093542_5059761_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=199800_137979299605843_119441511459622_211711_4946371_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/199800_137979299605843_119441511459622_211711_4946371_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=199887_137978039605969_119441511459622_211689_1885339_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/199887_137978039605969_119441511459622_211689_1885339_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=200126_10150223684305550_707755549_9093569_1170360_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/200126_10150223684305550_707755549_9093569_1170360_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=200127_137972436273196_119441511459622_211591_7027817_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/200127_137972436273196_119441511459622_211591_7027817_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8741.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8741.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br />(surprise blizzard on drive there!)<br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=200643_138120149591758_119441511459622_212444_2712420_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/200643_138120149591758_119441511459622_212444_2712420_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8743.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8743.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8745.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8745.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8747.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8747.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8751.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8751.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8753.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8753.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8749.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8749.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8754.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8754.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8763.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8763.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8756.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8756.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8768.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8768.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8770.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8770.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8772.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8772.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8773.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8773.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8774.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8774.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8779.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8779.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8780.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8780.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8798.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8798.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8787.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8787.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8786.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8786.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8784.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8784.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8795.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8795.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8805.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8805.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8783.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8783.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8806.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8806.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8807.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8807.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8808.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8808.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8810.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8810.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8809.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8809.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=CIMG8816.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/CIMG8816.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-46595916658242571162011-03-18T07:55:00.001-07:002011-03-18T07:57:17.832-07:00Viva la mexico!The week has been nuts. bags have been packed and re-packed! Jessie is gone for a conference for 4 days so I have made arrangements (actually she did all that work) for Haddie! The other two kids are counting the hours until Spring Break begins. I look forward to teachign my kids about poverty, working with them and experiencing this together. I do NOT look forward to seperation from my wife and youngest.<br /><br />Please pray for safety, good spirits, good examplse and good news! :)Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-38181087292017129332011-03-14T08:14:00.001-07:002011-03-14T08:14:22.811-07:00Mexico ChroniclesIf there is still anyone out there who reads this thing, you are owed an apology. It has been a LONG time since I shared a single thought with the blogosphere. Almost 2 months to be exact. My last post was about the loss of a dear friend. And since those words seemed to flow from the tips of my fingers, I just have not been able to write anything else down. Perhaps it is because I emotionally spent my brain. I have just been too tired to think. Or perhaps, I felt somehow guilty about writing anything else, as if maybe I was betraying Branson’s memory.<br />But, silence cannot live forever of course. I have decided that it is now time for me to once again pick up the proverbial pen and start typing. This week I leave for Mexico. Our church is taking about 73 folks across the border to build homes for some lovely creations of God. On top of that, I am taking my 2 oldest kids as well. So…it looks to be a busy week and a fun one. I am sure that it will give me plenty to talk about as we prepare and as we travel……so stay tuned!<br />“The Mexico Chronicles” will now begin!Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-26081442536371889592011-01-26T14:35:00.000-08:002011-01-27T14:09:13.745-08:00Branson Holm......Forever a FriendIt has been a whirlwind of a new year, and only 20 something days have passed. My wife and I returned from a wonderful conference on Youth Ministry that truly awakened our souls and stirred something deep within us. Ideas that had been trying to take root in our hearts and souls; thoughts that had been germinating were now given flesh and began sprouting inside of us, causing much excitement to pour forth from the two of us as we began to plan and dream for a huge year in our ministry. We could not wait to get home and start sharing it, planning it, and executing it. The future felt so vividly bright, that it almost burned.<br /><br />Then this buzz all came crashing to a screeching halt. Our dear friend Ronda Holm called us on Jan 9 around 4:00 in the afternoon. She was crying and clearly upset. She managed through tears to tell us that her son Branson had been in a very serious accident snowboarding outside of Flagstaff, AZ. He had fallen on his head and suffered brain injuries. At the time he was in an urgent surgery. It was scary and horrible news. Immediately I felt sick, and had a dark feeling begin creeping its way into my soul. Fight as I would try, this darkness would prove to continue to claw its way in for the next 12 days. She asked us to start praying. Jessie went right over to their house to be with Ronda and help in any way she could. I went to the church to lead youth group, where I planned on having the group pray together. We had no clue just how serious the injury was, or really even what to pray for. So we simply prayed for God to act. But, deep inside of me an all-consuming fear began to join with the darkness. I knew Branson had been told just a year or so ago to be very careful with head injuries as he’d suffered at that time a pretty bad brain trauma from a 4-wheeler accident (yeah…the guy was adventurous ☺). Jessie helped the Holm family make travel plans to get to AZ immediately as Dr.’s began to fill the family in on the stark fact that this was a SERIOUS accident. We all fell to our knees and waited helplessly for news.<br /><br />Before we go any further, let me back up some and tell you about the Holm family. Many years ago, they moved to Medford from Seward, AK where the father, Brad had been a missionary and preacher. To state the Holms are an amazing family is an understatement. They are as good of folks as you’ll find anywhere. Brad and Ronda have 4 beautiful kids. Shannon is married, lives in GA and has 1 son and another about to join us in this world any day now. Crystal is a nurse and world traveler, and is currently working temporarily in the Bay Area. Whitny lives in Medford, is married to a good friend of mine named Ryan Davidson and works for the 9-1-1 system. They are an incredibly fun and sweet couple. Branson was the only boy, a “surprise” for the entire family if you will. As the youngest and only boy, in many ways he was the "pride" of the entire crew. I could tell you why, and WILL tell you why…but I'll save that for later in the story ☺. These guys are simply all fantastic individuals. They are kind, giving, graceful, soft spoken and loving. They have become “surrogate grandparents” to my own children. Our youngest daughter, upon entering the church sanctuary each week immediately asks for “Mrs. Ronda”. ☺ They are forever part of our life. I am saying all that to say this: We love this family immensely. They mean the world to us and our relationship goes WAY beyond friendship.<br /><br />Now…back to the tale. As the hours began to wane, we quickly learned that Branson had indeed been gravely injured. The evacuation team had acted valiantly and heroically, getting him from the slopes to the operating table in under 40 minutes! The Dr’s had worked masterfully, removing a massive clot from his brain and stabilizing him. It was obvious that it was bad, but not yet clear just how bad. The bleeding and swelling were making it difficult to really measure the extent of the damage. As such, they left his skull open and kept him unconscious in a medically induced coma to monitor him and to let Branson’s brain rest, and try to heal. In what seemed like slow motion we began to get bits of information that told us Branson was in for a long and difficult fight. The medical team decided the only way he could possibly think about healing would require his brain to work as little as possible. So, they pushed him deeper into an induced coma and lowered his body temperature. They made sure that no outside stimulation would cause the brain <span style="font-style:italic;">any</span> activity. This included, light, sound or touch, which I imagine was pure torture for the family who simply wanted to talk to and touch B. <br /><br />It was very difficult being so far away, (or maybe it was divine intervention. I am not yet sure which) All I know is that I just wanted to see Branson and the family. So we kept in touch daily. It was an eye opening lesson to see how quickly information spreads in the modern world. Between word of mouth, email, Twitter and Facebook, it seemed like the entire country knew about our beloved Branson immediately. As I monitored the many pages on Facebook and kept our own churches’ page updated, I was floored at the amount of love, support and prayers pouring in, from EVERYWHERE. That following Wednesday two groups from our church got together for an intense time of prayer and pleading to God. At the same time I received messages that other groups and folks were doing the same thing that night from as far as TN, TX, CO and other places. It was powerful. Our group met and prayed. We prayed hard! We cried, worshipped and begged God for our friend’s life. We had specific requests and general pleas. It was an incredibly moving night. Even in this state, Branson had managed to draw us all closer together.<br /><br />Over the next few days, little by little, and really almost cruelly, we began to get reports that in our minds and hearts seemed hopeful. He had coughed! A toe had wiggled! His brain swelling was coming down! So, we began to allow glimmers of hope to crawl in. Yet, the darkness was still there, deep in my soul. It seemed to have truly dug in its’ claws by now, but light was still trying to find a way in as well. It was a battle.<br /><br />So, I tried to hope. Besides if ANYONE could fight this thing it was B. He was undoubtedly the single most amazingly gifted athletic person I have ever known. I watched him throw a no hitter. I saw him go from never skating seriously to being an honor receiving hockey player in one year. I’d watched him throw a football 60 yards in the air. He was STRONG! If anyone could partner with God and beat this thing, I was sure it was my buddy Branson. So we all simply continued to pray for a miracle and waited in growing agony to hear about our friend.<br /><br />This hope was quickly overtaken. The darkness inside me was not ready to be displaced yet, and it quickly took its’ dominion back on my soul’s pulse. It turned out that what we believed to be responses were nothing more than normal and involuntary reflexes. In other words, Branson had nothing to do with them. In fact, most of the movement was actually due to seizures that he had begun having. We went from hopeful to near hopeless in one phone call. The Dr.’s were concerned with several issues, and really needed to see what they called a “voluntary response” soon. On Sunday, I shared the most recent reports with our family at church and we all began praying for exactly that. In the back of my mind I began to think that maybe my dear friend was not going to pull this one out. Of course, I didn’t really want to believe that, so I quickly tossed that thought out like yesterday’s trash! Yet, it didn’t go away, it was still there, hiding and brewing deep within me. <br /><br />Over the next week, the news got worse and worse. All indications were bad. From everything they could see, Branson’s brain was just TOO marred. Simply put…he was not getting better. The last days of that week were the toughest by all accounts. He began to have more frequent and more intense seizures. His brain and blood pressure began to increase, he spiked a fever due to infections, and a clearer picture showed brain damage that in all reality simply could not be overcome. It was bad. Finally, the darkness took over completely. I felt empty. I didn’t even know what to pray anymore. <br /><br />So, the medical staff gathered the family around them and gave the prognosis we never wanted to believe could be coming. Basically, the injury had been fatal from the beginning. At the time his life was spared by only a few minutes. They have a scale of 3-15 to monitor brain activity. Branson was at the lowest, a 3 when he came in. After thousands of prayer flooded the throne of God and after extensive and excellent critical care, his number would only climb to a meager 5. The state of consciousness is measured as an 8, and that was the goal we kept praying for. But, after over a week of efforts, he took a turn for the worse and dropped back to a 3. Branson was not going to bounce back. The best scenario for Branson was dependent care for the rest of his life, and even that did not look likely. Branson loved life, but he loved to <span style="font-weight:bold;">LIVE<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> it. This is not living, and this was not something anyone, least of all B himself, would <span style="font-weight:bold;">EVER</span> want! So, our dear friends had to make the most difficult decision I could ever imagine. (Though, I think it was already made for them, as I believe my buddy had already gone to heaven.) On Friday evening, Jan. 21, 2011, my friend Branson went home to be with our Lord. We got the news, that we knew was coming. It had dwelled in us all day like an undigested lunch. Late that night in a simple text message from his mother, we were informed that it was over. My wife and I sat in the quiet of our den and stared into the air. We felt numb. We just could not believe it had really happened. This amazing burst of life that had flashed into our world was gone, in what seemed like an instant. <br /><br />Over the next hours and days we had to share this news with lots of people. First we had to tell our kids. Our daughters are too young to really grasp it. But still, this was an incredibly difficult challenge. Our oldest, Jude was particularly fond of Branson. He thought that he’d hung the moon. Branson always made Jude feel special. He always took time to play with him, hug him and talk to him. Jude found in Branson a cool big kid who showed my son that he was valued and loved. Many times Jude would go to see Branson and they’d jump on the trampoline, throw a football or play video games. So, we knew this was going to require an extra measure of strength. Jude had been flooding the gates of heaven daily with his precious prayers for his friend. It was harder than I ever imagined. He was crushed. He lay in our arms and cried. We simply held him and promised him that somehow, he would be ok. When Jude finally settled down, he asked me if he could write a blog about Branson. So he did. He typed it all himself. He wanted to write more, but got upset and had to stop. But it was really all he needed to write. It was perfect. Here is the script from his blog:<br />worst Saturday ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />it was the worst Saturday EVER. 'cause i found out my dear friend Branson passed away last night. he was my favorite video game buddie. i used to always watch him play hockey when i was little. He was always kind to me, and i will miss him very much. <br />Jude<br /><br />Aren’t those gorgeous words? Of course there are spelling, grammar and syntax errors. But the sentiment and pure, innocent emotion in those speak volumes! To me, this little entry into the great digital abyss says EVERYTHING you need to know about why Branson Holm was so special. He was a 22 yr old man. He was popular, gifted, funny, and busy. But, he took the time from his very busy life to make one little boy feel like he was his best friend in the world! THAT, my friends is incredible! That is heavenly. <span style="font-weight:bold;">That</span> is what made my dear friend such a shining jewel in a dull and gray world. <br /><br />So now we find ourselves left with “the rest of the story”. This is the part of grief that seems the hardest. Once the unthinkable actually happens, we sense a strange feeling of relief, knowing it is over and we can begin to move forward. But then comes the reality of the question “<span style="font-weight:bold;">How</span> do we move forward”? These past 2 weeks have found me walking through my life and daily routines like an empty phantom. Motivation has been missing. That darkness I spoke of was just too much to overcome. Until, yesterday.<br /><br />Yesterday I opened a new batch of mail at the church which had been sent in to the donation fund for Branson’s family. There was note after note of people exclaiming the praises of this young man. Several said they had only met him once but were struck by his magnetic personality and felt the call to help. As I read these, I was amazed. I was overwhelmed and I was humbled. This guy had lived a mere and way-too-short 22 yrs, but had left a HUGE footprint on this world! It seemed that every single place he went, he left in his trail people forever touched by the presence of a one-in-a-million person! As this reality set in, I had the sense that I had been in the shadow of genuine greatness for so long, and never really grasped it. A tear fell from my eye, but for the 1st time in 2 weeks, it was a tear of gratitude and actual joy. The darkness that had worked so hard to set terror in my heart fled instantly, and I fell to my knees to thank God for all that he does, even when he takes away! And as I pictured the last time I had hugged Branson just a month ago, light filled my soul.<br /><br />So I want to close this rambling tome with why I loved Branson so much. As it stands, I have the greatest job in the world, as a youth minister. I actually get paid to make friends with awesome kids and share in their lives!! You can take a moment here if needed, to covet ☺. I love every kid that comes through the doors of my office and classroom. I count Branson on this list. But somehow, like the cream of fresh farm milk, he often rose to the top. <br /><br />We had a special relationship. I have SO many memories. I remember the first real conversation we ever had. His family was still pretty new to Medford and West Main Church. He was young and believe it or not, at this time, Branson was quite shy. His sister was returning from serving in Iraq, and our group had made signs to go to the airport and greet her with the hero’s welcome we felt she deserved. I had been trying for weeks to get B to open up and he finally did. He shared the struggles he’d felt in moving from his beloved Seward, AK, where he had grown up. We talked about how he was adjusting to our “big” church (which is really funny if you belong to our wonderful family at W. Main). I simply asked him about his life, and offered my hand in friendship. I told him I thought he was going to be a blessing to our youth group. Boy did I have no clue how that statement would manifest itself! And the rest is history. I also remember our last talk, when I was so happy to see him this past Christmas, and the HUGE hug he gave me!<br /><br />It didn’t take long for Branson to grow into a special friend. I have a virtual closet full of memories that make me smile. I remember staying up late drawing tattoos on him on a mission trip when everyone else was asleep, talking deep into the night about life. I remember watching him play football, pitch a baseball, and play hockey. I remember how when we went to serve hurting kids in the inner city in Portland, they all flocked to him (especially when he did that “booty shake” dance and then back-flipped off the stage when he was challenged to a “dance off” ☺). I remember him nervously presenting a sermon with his dad one Sunday evening in our auditorium. I remember him coming to me in a panic when he was asked to lead a bonfire devotional on a house building mission trip to Mexico, and how I gave him a simple object lesson idea, and how he took it, made it his own and shared mightily to us all. I remember how he ALWAYS took time to love my son and what that meant to him. I remember how everyone looked up to him in the youth group. And who amongst the privileged few present could ever forget the time we had an entire restaurant in Portland sing to him? I have never seen someone turn so red! I remember being sad when he moved away (first to Eugene) but so proud of him. I remember visiting his first apartment and giving him a hard time about a "questionable" swimsuit calendar hanging on his wall☺! But of course…it was impossible to ever be mad at B. I could go on and on. It seems that the good memories of this young man are endless. <br /><br />Branson lived life. He packed more into 22 years than most will a much longer lifetime. It only takes a few moments browsing through his Facebook photos to see that his life was ANYTHING but boring. He believed in having fun, smiling and making every day special. If an adventure was for sale, Branson was buying! <br /><br />He had an extremely rare magnetism that drew everyone into him. Maybe that was what made him the MOST unique. He could make ANYONE feel comfortable. He would include anyone at all in his circle. He loved people. He could walk into a teetotaler Bible study, an old folks home, or a raging Frat kegger, and fit in, making everyone around him comfortable and happy. He had no ill will or judgment in him. Perhaps Branson lived out the apostle Paul’s mandate to be “all things to all people” better than anyone else I will ever know! He was blessed with an arsenal of gifts, and I am so thankful he used these gifts to make this world a better place! I truly believe this world is better because of this young man. I can attest that my life is infinitely more blessed because he was in it.<br /><br />I have spewed too much already, so please accept my humble apologies. What it really all boils down to is this: I LOVE BRANSON TITUS HOLM SO VERY MUCH. And my friend, i hope you can hear these next few words. You were much more than a youth group student to me. You were a friend, and above all you were a son to me. I thank God for you. I pray that at this time, He has His loving arms wrapped gently around you, as you plan the 1st Annual X Games in heaven. ☺ Thank you Branson for loving me back! You will always be part of me. I will see you again my friend, so keep that hug ready for me.<br /><a href="http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/?action=view&current=163805_500190008947_646313947_6000151_4944081_n.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f182/pannizle/163805_500190008947_646313947_6000151_4944081_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-31370156485699179362011-01-19T12:58:00.000-08:002011-01-19T13:20:00.155-08:00Bronco FutureThere is SO much heavy in my life right now. It's been a hard start to a new year.....so today I want to write about something TOTALLY brainless. I want to write about football...more specifically my beloved Broncos! I think the future is bright...IF we make good decisions. The 1st good decision was bringing Elway into the front office. This is already showing rewards. Then we got a coach. I am not sure if I think Fox was the BEST choice, but I think he is good, and will bring us some fire, defensive spark and integrity. Now......the next few months are key! <br /><br />i think we could turn it around quickly. We have the coach in place. I believe that we have a QB who is raw, yet is a winner and WILL win. We have some great draft picks if we choose wisely, and add a few quality free agents...my friends we are looking at winning ways again! <br /><br />Here are scenarios I would love: Tebow starts from the beginning and continually improves. We have the 2nd pick overall...I say none of this trading crap and use that sucker for a defensive stud! We have 2 second round picks! If we trade Kyle Orton we can get another 2nd round pick. We also already have 1 third round pick, 1 in the 6th and 7th also! that's a LOT of potential. I wouldn't even mind trading the oh so fragile Moreno for a 2nd round pick either! <br />Then we define priorities. That's easy....DEFENSE! We need a stud lineman to complement a healthy Elvis Dumervil. We need a stud linebacker to stop that hole in our run defense. We could use a cornerback and safety as well (though the talk of moving Chamo to safety has much promise I believe, and Syd'Quan Thompson and Parrish Cox have potential). With the 2bd pick we either take Da'Quan Powers or Nick Fairley...both studs and game changers. Second round we should get a safety (Deunta Williams?) Use the other for a quality lineman and corner. Many will be available. In the 3rd round get us a nose tackle! It's been YEARS since we had one with any presence. <br /><br />We have several players we could lose in free agency: Marcus Thomas, Kevin Vickerson, Ryan McBean, Wesley Woodyard ad Champ Bailey. If I had a say I would say goodbye ot all but 2: Champ is a legend and deserves to stay and finish strong here, and Woodyard deserves to stay (he's a solid back up and special teams guy). When we get Elvis back...thats a HUGE boost. then I say look for some free agnet defensive vets to being along. Maybe a Richard Seymour, or Dhani Jones. What a botu some free agent O line fellas? Bring Ben Hamilton back? At wide receiver we have a great group of poayers, but I think we don't have a great tight end...especially not for catching passes. Bo Scaife is available....... :)<br /><br />Keep Quinn as tebow's back up and sign a vet QB t aid Tebow's development like a Mark Brunell or Marc Bulger. DeAngelo Williams is a free agent and if healthy, he has a relationship with Fox...I love the guy...get him! <br /><br />Well....I imagine NONE of this will happen...but writing it was therapy today. Let me know if any of you care at all :)Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-12670838913450412392011-01-17T14:29:00.001-08:002011-01-17T14:30:26.623-08:00MLK Dayplease take a minute to remember and celebrate something and someone great today:<br /><br /><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PbUtL_0vAJk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PbUtL_0vAJk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2888367787994651855.post-17060311015126604532010-12-24T15:23:00.001-08:002010-12-24T15:23:49.788-08:00Love Came Down at Christmasmy fave song of the season:<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zIr5th0d44Y?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zIr5th0d44Y?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Brian Pannellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218116698083775423noreply@blogger.com0